Lightning

Lightning

A flash of light piercing through the sky.
Always faster than thunder.
In all it's splendour.
Swift, fast and agile.
It dissipates as fast as it flashes.
No more to be seen.

At an atomic level, it is a friction of ions.
Clashing of static.
 Though opposites charge attracts, they clash.
Clash into luminous streaks. 

At a poetic level, it defines speed.
Impermenance.
Grandeur.
Light.
Hope.
Destruction.
Electricity.
To some even - Benjamin Franklin.
 

Superficial Prejudice II

Seems to have gotten to me; the idea of having that idealistic figure, that handsome face, doing whatever it takes to be cool.

Just yesterday I had two cigarettes. It comes to a surprise to many.

"You!? Smoke!? Nooooooooooo....!"

It's just two blardy sticks la you people. Perhaps I wanna look cool. Perhaps I'm too stressed. Whatever it is, it's an act which drew criticism from many, as of 6th November 2011, I've only ever had 5 sticks in my life. So what really.

Then on another unrelated note, I don't have to be sooo jealous of 'fit' people. Compared to "some":

I don't need to watch my diet 24/7, that is I won't curse myself for the Cheese Naan I just nibbled.

I don't need to take protein supplements which are pricey and can loss sudden muscle mass loss if not taken consistently.

I know what the meaning of  "Inception" is.

I know how to pronounce "rendezvous" and "Louis Vuitton".

I don't pretend to talk about the contents of a book when I haven't even read it yet to impress a chick.

I can talk without sounding like a typical dumb jock.

I can actually sing and act, i.e. show emotion, when some people are more worried about their nose dislocating.

Lastly, I don't think that people will come fawning for me if I have a hot bod :)

Superficial Prejudice

In the most general of retrospects, one would be labelled as superficial if he/she likes a person who is physically attractive, no? Would it also make me superficial if I wanted to buff up by going to the gym if I wanted to get noticed? Would it be unfair for me to say all physically hot guys are air heads? Would it also mean that intelligent, smart, philosophical people have below average physical features?

We strive to achieve balance of the mind and body on a daily basis but tend to lean too much on only one side that the other lacks the attention it deserves. I guess I'm not giving the other side the attention it deserves, but I like expanding my mind with a good book comparing to lifting weights. And most people shape up for the sake of looking good and garnering attention in the process. I dare thee to refute this point.

So, if I make an effort to buff up,will I get noticed?

Anonymous // Government Hooker

Let's look at a short glance of what has been happening: The Government chooses to censor 10 file sharing sites in Malaysia. Say they really are competent enough to 'curb' piracy. They forgot that these file sharing sites are also used to store information or files that they wish to share with other users especially if its a huge file, for business or personal reasons. And this is completely legal.

So the question the beloved Government needs to answer is whether they will ban things if it causes harm. They might as well ban the riding of motorcyles since it causes so many damn accidents every year and ban violent video games since they 'pollute the minds of children'.

Anonymous has my support, hands down. He made a move that will have the Government think twice before legislating anymore nonsense again. Anonymous probably thinks the way I do; censorship of such sites, is taking away our freedom. How much longer do we need to succumb to ideas of Government rationales? (Don't get me started with the cases of Yoga ban among Muslims, banning Valentines, banning poco-poco dance, and the recently new establishment of the ridiculous OWC to shape and mold first class prostitutes) 

I'm glad someone like Anonymous stepped up, for too long you and I become 'government hookers', we pay them (in the form of tax), yet, we get f*cked by them in the end with nonsensical explanations and legislations. A by-election, please.

Marry The Night

Haven't been blogging as regularly as I should. the following will be random rants. Hmmm, well, here it goes... (not like anyone cares)

It's not like I want to give up on love, but it seems money (or lack there of) is becoming an obstacle when I go dating. How much do I need to spend to go for a single date. About RM15 goes to movie tickets, RM 20 goes to lunch and what not mistc. costs (transport) amounts to RM50 a date average. It's not tat I'm stingy, just at the he present moment and time, I do not own the capacity to spend so much per date. Does finding my true love have to be so pricey?

Which brings up an idea: BUDGET DATING! :P what if we had webcam dates? At least with that, then you won't have to be so pissed if the date went wrong and you save the cash used for dating!

Another thing is the time and emotions you pour into a date which may bloom to a relationship sometimes. Sometimes, the time and effort you invest just won't pay off, so why bother? If you don't give a sh*t, why da fark should I? If you are going to send only ONE text per day, you might as well not. IF mutual affection DOES exist, then you would reply me constantly, updating me about your day, or at least telling me new things about you I never knew before.

bukannya ape, it would be really nice if I  find someone who doesn't mind declaring me as their 'man'

Or shall I just marry the night?
For the moonlit night will not betray me,
For all that is evil and creeps in the dark will be my wife,
And lustering stars will be the proof of my marriage,
As well as iridescent children
In the dark of the night, I ask myself, "must I write?"

The Back // The Face

The Back
=======

I look at her back, a strong woman going forward. I always listen to her, for her words are pure and convincing as though as its absolute. She leads the way and I'm to follow her. Admire her I do, love her maybe. For I know, love shall be unrequited, but I still need her guidance. Her heart is with another. For far to long, I look at her back.

(This is an excerpt written in the shoes of another man)

The Face
======

Elaborating further on prima facie, which is in my opinion would be the physical face-to-face first impression one might give you. Another form of first impression would be by 'hear-say', i.e. I know this guy from debating, or I know this girl from the Cheerleadersor even a rather public figure for that matter. Other first impressions include by 'pictures', 'telephone voice', 'texting', etc.

To futher classify, would be by stimulus:

Sight - physically face-to-face, pictures
Hearing - telephone voice
Touch - accidental/intentional bumping

Post first impression:

Personality - Texting, etc

Under personality, loads of things can happen, and this is the one that normally ensues after first impression which gives us more insight on what the person is like.

Note that texting style is not the ultimate way to gauge a person (heck, sometimes, this is insignificant to the bones)

Inception - An Idea

Inception - The Movie
===============
Inception was such an effing awesome movie that I would feel low for not writing about it at least. About the movie:

- to an extent packed with philosophy and requires some thinking to fully get the movie
- relates to what I do when I have a dream, and I write a Dream Journal.
- plot-juicy
- A team made of a leader, a chemist, a tactician, a shapeshifter (somewhat), a dream architect, and a Japanese man LOL

Terms that I may add to my daily vocabulary *wink* 9from my view point/understanding):
Stimulus - The stimulating item to initiate a kick
Kick - sensation of falling or a sharp jolt that will make you awake
Projection - Units of one's subconsciousness which behave like a white blood cell when dreamer is provoked (removes foreign objects i.e. dreamers from the system)
Limbo - place/state of oblivion
Mr. Charles - an operation to convince one who is in a dream to go one level lower into the dream state
Totem - a personal item (a top, dice, or chess piece) which supposedly is suppose to help one discern reality from a dream. (But that being said, whoever said that we are not living a dream?

Inception - An Idea

==============

Perhaps I'll try reading this elsewhere, but for now, I'll just refer to it as "Wilson's Theory" =P

Theory of Fatal Attraction - This form of attraction is infatuation, a sensation of emotionally falling for somebody (and interestingly) while barely knowing the target you are attracted by. 

Seemingly by prima facie (face value or appearance at first sight), one can fall deeply attracted to the said target. And this is considered 'fatal' as you only know so little and see this person at first glance.

After the prima facie stage, a person can move to further feel more attracted to the person by getting to know him/her more, feel rather neutral about the person (i.e. she/he is not so hot as I initially thought) or even upon close inspection (physical and attitude-wise), is not your cup of tea. At all. 

Attraction

Haven't posted in a while. The inspiration for this post was from the XxX article in the local Star Newspaper, and really got me thinking.

Attraction - E.M.O.T.I.O.N. (Part I)
==========================

Attraction is funny in a way that it can cause us to like someone a LOT without even without knowing anything about the person at all. And this is what I think is a kin to if not synonymous to infatuation. Mutual infatuation would be the basis of a stable/proper relationship between two people. And as easily one can fall for a person, and sometimes it is just as easy to forget them.

Perhaps all this while I've always been infatuated by another person, who may not feel the same. Hence maybe I should take the advice of simply forgetting this person, if signs of evasion/avoidance/disinterest start to arise. Heck, shall I not love again?

"Infatuation" - Infatuation by Maroon 5

Attraction - Laws of Attraction (Part II)

==========================

The critically acclaimed book by Rhonda Byrne, The Secret drew many forms of criticism, good and bad.

I'm sorry, to people whom I lied to, and claimed that I have read The Secret, where I haven't, only because I wanted to "fit in" and have a common topic to talk about. I do know the summary, regarding the Law of Attraction.

To me, the idea of sunshine 24/7 is rather idealistic. You can pray all you want, hope all you want, and work your ass of so much, yet, sometimes you do not achieve what you aimed for. Though persistence is the key to success, one thing that has GOT to go hand-in-hand, which is TALENT is guess.

Perseverance without talent, is like knocking your head against the wall in hopes of producing a hole in the wall, but instead, you end up with a whiplash injury without even reducing the mass of the wall by barely 0.1% yet. A silly example used by Fly.fm was also ridiculous, "chase your dreams, i.e. singing, even if you sing like a   frog". This would refer to my head banging example. Therefore, please for the sake of good grace of God, persevere in something you have TALENT in.



   

Promise I'll be Kind

And yes, I have returned from my "hiatus", if you may call it, not that I was dry of inspiration to write or anything, it's just that I felt more personal stuff should be kept to my self, and my alternate psyche, my diary, which may be known as The Diary.

On to the post,

"Promise I'll be kind" - Paparazzi by Lady Gaga

I've been a pretty nice guy (if I must say), but now after giving deep thought about it, is it worth being nice to EVERYONE? To an extent, even, to be perceived as soft and/or soft-spoken, just because, I feel that I'm polite, especially to people whom I've just only met.

Kindness is the basis of Buddhism, or so they say. Can there be too much kindness and compassion spreading and reaching out to people you may know, or not know?

Do you deserve the kindness which I treat you with? Or somehow rather, you prefer rough guys with the bad boy image who act no less of the image as well? I cannot be what I'm not, and 'role-playing' an evil character just to nail a date I want would be akin to lying because that's not the real me. Then I would have to come to another consensus with myself that perhaps by being the nice guy, and treating people well ain't gonna get you a date/laid. It's always been the case around us, hasn't it? Or perhaps the people I've met want a macho guy with muscular pecs, a bad-ass scar tattoo who'd treat them like their bitch in bed? I don't know. You tell me.

You say you do not want to be alone anymore, telling me things like you don't want to die a lonely death, and emo-ing about how you may die alone.
That doesn't have to happen. We may have only just met, but if you allow, I can be the one who walks by your side as you stride in the 'journey' we call 'life'. To an extent, I don't hold a degree in psychology, but I can tell how uncomfortable you may feel when I express my feelings in public especially as well as feeling uneasy about the certain interests I take.

It's fine, we've only just met. Perhaps I'm really rushing it. Or perhaps, like how a reaction of vinegar and baking soda bubbles before it subsides and dies - the chemistry we had was short lived. Or perhaps, you need someone kinder, or even, someone less kind.

Maybe, like Rihanna you want a rude boy or a Chris Brown in your life.

Yours truly,

Heartwrecked Wilson

Piece of my Mind - Face of an Angel

"I have come to terms that the only reason why 'movie magic' is a term coined so, is 'cause it is magic that happens only in the movies." - Myself


"I have come to consensus with myself that perhaps there is no such thing as 'True Love' in this world. Platonic love exist perhaps, but not the fabled 'True Love'" - Myself




An interesting poem I'd love to share with all, from From the book Magic: Dissension (3rd Ravnica Cycle) :



Don't say I have a face of an angel,
'Cause it's such an easy thing to do.
I would never want the face of an angel,
Nt after seein' what an angel goes through.

-Face of an Angel, by Shonya Bale, the Balladrix of tin Street

Cravings & Indulgence

Had a sudden craving to indulge in chocolate cake (for some unknown reason)
Well, there is no Secret Recipe or fancy bakery nearby so I settled for Berry's "American Chocolate" (staying in a rented room in PJ, so went to Berry's in Atria Shopping Centre)

*took a scoop and consumes it*

Wow, it's not as crappy as I thought XD as a matter of fact, for RM 3.90, it's actually quite nice. The cooking chocolate used was of good quality (not buttery like the poor quality ones). What sold me about this cake was the hint of bitterness from dark chocolate icing. It wasn't too bitter, nor was it only sweet, the bitterness was just right. In addition, the dark chocolate emitted a distinct bittersweet fragrance.

One drawback was the white chocolate disc as you can see in the picture above. It was obviously made of lower quality cocoa in addition to loads of butter in it.

I must say though, this slice of Berry's gives an eatery like Secret Recipe a run for its money! 

Philosophy
=========

Humans tend to have indulgences and cravings, but of course it must be suppressed otherwise the demon of greed can consume one easily.

I fell victim to this demon a number of times, and I regret doing so. It not only further caused more complications later, it made me realize and think twice of what I'm actually using my money for.

I crave for a person to be able to hold my hand when I get old. Should I suppress such a feeling and call this being greedy?

Purpose

Today, we did our Biology Practical involving enzymes, overall, quite fun =D

~Jane, my partner for the Biology practical~

~View 1 of results~

~View 2 of results (can see Angie behind!) lol~

Philosophy -

~I need a purpose, whether it comes on purpose or otherwise~

An insert from Gives You Hell (The All American Rejects) lyrics:

When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.
When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.
If you find a man that's worth a damn that treat you well.
Then he's a fool, you're just as well, hope it gives you hell.
Truth be told I miss you.
Truth be told I'm lying.

I've said harsh things to you. Some I mean, Some I don't. If really, you thought I was a close friend, then why did you let your lips touch mine? Would you let a close friend do that too? You mean more to me than that. You of all people should know. After what happened, you might never want to talk to me again.

Perhaps you needed me to understand you but I failed to do that. I lacked understanding what feeling what you would feel would be like. I'm sorry if I couldn't understand you, I wish you well, in finding that Mr. Right who might do it better than me.

Perhaps all the while I believed we could be, you gave me my purpose whether on purpose or otherwise. Without you, I've side-tracked on my purpose and walk this road with less "umph". For the time being, I'll latch on to something else which serves that purpose. Perhaps if destiny's play allow, you and I will find that purpose.

I hope you read this and hear what i mean to say.

You know who you are.

Love - Say Only What You Mean

Once again, philosophy time!

When two people are in love and commit themselves to each other, they say a lot of things to please each other and to make each other happy. Hence, at times, they won't be able to help saying "I love you forever", which sounds sweet and all, but the biggest thing that comes to mind is whether that person truly means it from the bottom of their heart or not.

When saying such things one will be subjected to responsibility and must fulfill the promises mentioned, otherwise it will remain as nothing more than just words. Meaning if one says it, one must act accordingly.

Wounds that won't heal

At times, when i thought a wound is in the middle of healing, it really wasn't. In reality the wound only continued bleeding and bleeding. Till I experience unconsciousness from the lost of blood. It is only then I need serious treatment to heal the would, where at that very moment , my life was hanging by intravenous saline solution injection into my the underside of my wrist.

Bedridden, I thought to myself, on the things that I have done to the extent of actually deserving all this. Devils and Demons alike smirk and laugh at my disability to move freely during that moment. What else would I have to hold on to? To live for? Given all I whom I assumed would be by my side left me before the end of my journey.

I have just enough energy to forcefully remove the injection and end my life just like that. With that, no more pain, no more suffering. Should I?

Red Day!

It's Red Day!

On hold a sec, its not associated with any global international event, ie. "International Red Day". Then why do we do it? Well for the fun of it of course! (Besides the fact that we can scare the hell outta our Biology and Chemistry lecturers. Should've seen the look on his face. Priceless.) We even took snapshots of our "all red" crew, (photo courtesy of Angie)


I was kinda sick of KDU Squares expensive but small servings of mixed rice. So, Leon and I decided to go to You Yie (a short walk from KDU) for lunch. Each of us paid RM 4.70 and got 2 1/2 bowls of rice (added rice) with large servings of 3 types of dishes. Was VERY satiating.


Daily things aside, time for some philosophy talk~

~Me thinks one of life's greater ordeal, is to able to not only understand one's self, but also accept one's self.~

I for one strive for recognition and to be appreciated. It gives me a feeling of satisfaction when that all the passion and effort that I put into making something happen and bear fruit. This of course applies differently for other individuals, some even believe in "Service Above Self" which is in no way right or wrong, but as long as one has stringent belief in something, that itself can be the driving force to let one live.

Lately, I'm beginning to understand myself more. Being a very emotional person, I fall in love rather easily, which I tend to mix it up with infatuation/crush. I understand the fuzzy feeling when I see certain people and should not shy away from it, as they are my genuine feelings. I should learn to except these are mine and mine alone and should not be shunned aside. Only time will tell how these minuscule feelings can develop.