Sex. Law. Stuff.

A little late but here goes:-

There is a problem if an archaic and outdated piece of legislation punishes "unnatural acts". I'm pretty sure a good number of (Malaysian) adults have engaged in fellatio, cunnilingus and anal sex regardless of sexual orientation. Shouldn't they be punished too? Oh yeah, they shouldn't be punished. Or rather they can't. Because that would mean charging of about 50% of adults in Malaysia and who's gonna make revenue for the government if these (working) adults are jailed? 

Anyone who says that the law is the law and that it should not questioned is clearly putting a foot in his mouth. Laws need to be constantly scrutinized and criticized so that the proper authorities know what kind of laws are suitable and desired by the people at a particular given time. A change in moral zeitgeist (the moral spirit of time) is essential to a flourishing society which is evolving where obsolete laws are abolished while replaced with new ones. Our beloved country doesn't seem to be heading that direction at Mach speed anytime soon, while we are reminded of the Wawasan 2020 (Vision 2020).

There is a problem if the judiciary, legislation (parliament) and executive (government) cannot be criticized if they are not exercising their functions properly and need to be kept in check. Who else can keep them in check if not the voice of the rakyat (the people)?

Selective prosecution seems to be rampant? Sedition this? Sedition that? Meh. 

Memories of...

"I feel bad for her. Isn't it such a pity to lose her memories?", said Cassandra as she gazed into the evening sun shining in vermilion brilliance.

"It might be a good thing too... To lose your memories. To forget the pain and suffering." He then gazed away from the blinding sun.

What Does It Mean To Have a Heart?

It's been a while since I wrote. And that's probably because either I don't think anyone deserves to read this, or that my worries are petty and unwarranted, though indulgence of the former may make me feel better.

The impetus to write this piece came from me stumbling on a blog of a former crush of mine. He then opined his justification on being silent when someone else says that he misses him, because he simply does not feel the same. He feels that he'd rather not scathe the ego of another by telling that person that he does NOT miss him. Instead, he keeps silent.

When we locked eyes for the longest time before gently kissing, was that really just me imagining amorous feelings? Was it really all in my head? Did I misunderstand what it was like to kiss someone you really like so softly and passionately? Are these emotions merely bursts of serotonin and dopamine and nothing more? But alas, I do not have the answers , and I will never know if the sudden skip of a beat in my chest and heightened happiness is an illusion or can be justified or even worth investing time in researching and, and understanding. Was I stupid enough to even identify this as an amorous feeling?

What tore me and rendered my guts was what if he was disgusted all this while and just wanted to "get it over with"?

No one can make another like them. If spells and sorcery did exist to enchant the ones you like to like you, the world's utility of less heartbreak would manifest at the cost of making people like each other a commodity (notwithstanding that this too already exists on a scale vide Stockholm Syndrome, prostitution, and even to an extent, the social institution of marriage)

The world shows me no compassion, why should I then show the world compassion?

Is your heart something you can really trust? It's sad to know your heart is the only thing you can trust. There's no "on" or "off" button when it comes to emotions and feelings. I can't just tell myself to stop feeling, what I can do though, is merely put thoughts of you in abeyance through indulging myself with pabulum. But what can you do if the heart wants what the heart wants? I know how I feel. No one else can tell me how to feel otherwise. Or what I am feeling is merely an illusion I conjured up about another; merely a perspective, lacking details to the whole story, like a story without its climax/plot twist while very well knowing that that climax has yet emerged.

What pierces my heart even more is when I anticipate that whatever I do for another is met with snide remarks and/or disgust which he keeps to himself - whatever I do will never be good enough. Is this what they call a persecution complex?

He probably got it at the bullseye when he said that he didn't even know why he likes me.. Neither do I. On one hand, I'm pretty confident that if I try hard enough, I'll find that special someone who will appreciate me for who I am and I am good enough, on the other hand, I'm beginning to feel this to be no more than a futile exercise because I will never be good enough for anyone, I'm a monster.

They say if you fall in love with a poet, your love will be immortalized in writing vide his poetry. If you would then allow me, to immortalize our love on paper, canvas or any medium of your liking.

And if the well of my emotions overflow to the physical persona/mask I wear and people ask what's wrong, the only thing I can say is... " べつに" ("Betsumi", meaning nothing's wrong).

This Shadow Inside I Wish I Could Slay

This shadow inside I wish I could slay,
I wish I could drink my problems away,
If only not drinking made me so gay,
Tell me don't leave me, tell me you'll stay.

Can't Poor People Have Nice Things?

A dark-skinned man walked to the cashier holding a bag of  what looks like "siam super special" rice. He meekly asks the cashier - "Berapa?" (Malay for "how much?"). The cashier glared at him for a bit before snatching the bag scanning the bar code. 

"Emfatfuloe..", Gibberish was being uttered by the cashier with her head faced down and not the least bit interested in making eye contact with the man, it was as if deliberately not wanting to talk to him. From where I could stand, I could see the price - RM 42.50. Holy Grapefruit! - That's pricey for a bag of 10 kg rice. Then again, I'm more used to the lower price range of local white rice; the extravagant prices of "higher end" rice such as brown rice have little appeal to one who strives to thrift like me. 

"Empat puluh dua ringgit lima puluh sen!" (Malay for RM42.50) the cashier raised her voice, which shocked both myself and the dark-skinned man. It was as if she was annoyed. With the bag of rice in his hand, he retreats away from from the cashier. 

I have then begun a ride on a roller coaster of assumptions in his head - "Things are getting more and more expensive, and my pay is not increasing" - "Can't poor people have nice things?" - "I know I don't belong here, but do you have to raise your voice like that? Treat me less than human?" - "Well, at least things here are better than back home".

Review - Mandela's Way by Richard Stengel

Richard Stengel seems to suggest that being a hypocrite is being worse than a being a contradict - which is what Mandela seems to be in his eyes, for at least being a contradict is human, and being a hypocrite stoops you a level lower because you are perfectly aware of your contradictory actions. For the sake of simplicity I'll write down the 'lessons' that appealed most.

Time and time again we see this value, perhaps told in a different fashion and in a different light; courage. And in the book it is iterated that courage is not the absence of fear but putting up a front of valour even though you're (rhetorically) wetting your pants. Also along this vein, Mandela who is conscious about first impressions, is very particular when it comes to 'looking the part'. Trying to reconcile with the sentiments of a leader, it would be shallow to judge someone on first impression, but the harsh reality is that everyone does it, and that first few seconds imprints the image of the man in one's mind and last almost indefinitely. With that in mind, Mandela justifies splurging on fancy clothes and putting up a courages front when meeting with important people.

I also found that while Mandela endorses 'Seeing the Good in Others' and is like a personal mantra to enrich one's view in life, realistically, it only gets yourself hurt when you're too trusting in someone else that you do not see their hidden agenda. Mandela also admits to have been betrayed but never ceasing to see the good in others.

As the old saying goes, 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer'. Mandela adheres to this almost strictly, except with a slight tweak - he keeps enemies close (one example is when he placed a member of the opposition in the cabinet so he can have close tabs on him) but at the cost of unwaveringly distancing himself from friends and family (due to the course of his work, he would justify). It would also seem that Mandela is down with using others as tools to reach his goal (while the goal of a better nation is noble, the means where he admits using others to reach the goal begs the question of morality), namely using people like de Clerk and speaking Afrikaans to gain the support from the other side.

I found the chapters of 'Lead from the Front' and 'Lead from the Back' almost identical, save for slight change in wordings - essentially advocating to know when to be at the front to lead and knowing when to step back and watch seeds of leadership come to fruition.

Mandela was a fan of gray areas - for a yes-or-no question, more often than not, he'll reply with a 'maybe', 'it's both' or something to that effect. Mandela appreciates that the two extremes are certain, but at times can be too harsh, and prefers to accept that for most problems, there is always a bit of both.

The final lesson is called 'Find Your Own Garden', and to Mandela, it was taken quite literally. While imprisoned, after months of protocol, he finally managed to have a plot of land by his cell to plant vegetables (mainly to supplement his and the diet of other prisoners with veggies together with the cornmeal and occasional slab of meat they would have). Tending to his garden while in prison also gave him a lot of time to think and strategize where he claims to have found peace. While not all of us have spare soil for gardening, he urges people to find things they really love most and indulge in it, at least for a moment in a day to escape from the harsh reality of the world. One may argue that this move is no different than running away from one's problems but who's to judge?

All-in-all a mediocre book which gave insights to what Mandela is like from the perspective of Richard Stengel while dipping one's toes into the realm of African politics.

A Bluetooth Speaker Review

As one who loves (listening to) music, it is not surprising that I would try to get my hands on a quality speaker. As such it's high time I made a review of a bluetooth speaker.

And here it is...

The Samsung DA-F61 Bluetooth Speaker! 

It has a sleek design with clean curves and nothing too fancy, which is exactly what someone like me would go for in a hand-held product. The speaker is also surprisingly light, weighing around 1kg, which gives points in portability and won't strain your pockets (or bags) too much.

The speaker emits crisp and refined sounds along with a good balance of treble, mids and trebles. It’s able to go fairly loud, tricking your ears into thinking they’re listening to a larger sound system.

It has a surprisingly long battery life - up to 10 hours upon being fully charged. Long battery life is almost a must if you expect to leave the device on while you are engrossed with whatever you are engaged in. 

The price of the product may be a bit steep, but when you pay gold you do indeed get gold ;)

Rating: 5/5