Fallin' In and Out

It's been almost a month since the last post, some updates:

I lost my laptop
Had crushes - only to realise they don't feel the same way =/
Just finished trials and most of ot was screwed up >.<

Life's a bitch ain't it?

Yesterday (6/9/2010) I fell for someone for who had a boyfriend. I know my brain says I shouldn't, but heart says otherwise, this is bad, and goes wayyyyyyy outta line. Today (7/9/2010), I sort of dated someone and in the cinema, we sorta held hands, and I felt a head leaning on my shoulder. But, after the show, it seemed as though as that felt nothing to the said individual. I asked of prospects of us in the future, but seemed like a negative feedback to me. I flirted and hinted that I wouldn't mind being a boyfriend to the said individual, and hinted that i had some feelings. SOME. A lil.   

But, from this individual side, who claims not event a hint of attraction sort of brought me down a bit. Maybe it will take time to develop. Just maybe? Or, maybe this person just ain't interested at all.

UGH I GIVE UP

Then, things like these fill yourself with plenty of self doubt; am I not good-looking enough? Or perhaps, I do not fulfill the 'measures of a man', I don't know, I'm pretty confused. 

Or maybe it's not time yet? A tarot card reaader once predicted I shall find my soulmate at the age of 23 and get married at the age of 27. I will never know if it's true, I'd be a monkey's uncle if it does come true though.

I guess maybe, sometimes i yearn for companionship, waking up with a lover in my arms, etc. and jazz like that. To an extent, I could even be labelled as desperate.

Oh, and I learned a quote from a songin Step Up 3D today: It's okay to not be okay