Well the post is as such - for those mentioned in the 'title'. I am having a break from class till 1pm, class ended at 9am.
*SPOILERS TO KH:BBS AND KH II AHEAD*
Finished Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep (the game took me from 16th Sep 2010 till 27th Sep 2010, to complete three storylines, and unlocking the secret ending: Blank Points) Now, I'm quite an avid fan of the series, (alongside my friend who is a BIGGER fan), and I found that Birth By Sleep was quite above average. Nothing 'fantastic' really, owing to the storyline. Why do I say this?
Well, prequels of any main series have (and will always be) been known to be notorious as the 'fill in the gap' and hence 'do a lot of patchwork' to cover loopholes to the series' main story. Birth by Sleep was no exception in my opinion. It did give light and reasoning to how Riku and Kairi were able to wield Keyblades by Kingdom Hearts II, however I thought the reasoning for why Ven looked like Roxas was flimsy, of all the Toms, Dicks and Harry's out there, Sora was the one to 'answer the call to Ven'
A typical Deux Ex Machina, if you ask me, the lead character being able to do ANYTHING, since he's 'special'.
Well, there are pros too of course, such as the versatility of commands you have in this game is rather immense! From typical attacking, to finishers, to deck commands, to shot locks, to command styles. Story wise is decent, its different compared to many games as each character goes to different places at different times, but of course in the end they all reunite. I enjoyed Final Episode and Blank Points too, albeit, like mentioned before, was filled with plot hole patching.
Moving on, I'm planing to start Persona 3 Portable, but I really should finish my exams first before even thinking about it, I truly enjoyed games by Shim Megami Tensei (SMT), i.e. Persona series, Digital Devil Saga series, and Devil Summoner, as it truly beats the crap out of common RPG with realistic characters as well as cleverly designed plots.
An avid gamer I am, not sure if can be classified as hardcore gamer or not though, lol, but those who know me long enough know bout my gaming habits somewhat lol
Wednesday 6 October 2010
Thursday 30 September 2010
How To Save A Life - The Fray
Those who know me, know I love Lady Gaga, but of course, I do like other artists to, particularly, The Fray. I wanted to make a post about The Fray's How To Save A Life eons ago, but procrastinated up till now. The music video was intended to be about how the singer wanted to help a troubled teen, but couldn't due to invisible barriers, one of them being the reluctance of the child who refused aid to solve his/her problems.
However, the song is left rather open for interpretation. So, what I did was that I collected random excerpts that appeared in the music video, supposedly, the ones appearing in bold, are random quotes, supposedly struggles within themselves, the rest suggests that it it method of 'how to save a life', here it goes (in order of appearance):
However, the song is left rather open for interpretation. So, what I did was that I collected random excerpts that appeared in the music video, supposedly, the ones appearing in bold, are random quotes, supposedly struggles within themselves, the rest suggests that it it method of 'how to save a life', here it goes (in order of appearance):
LISTEN
8. HOLD STILL
DAD
MOM
15. let it GO
36. DON’T BE scared of DEATH
LAUGH
18. Talk to someone
45. Touch
BREATHE
22. CRY
23. ACCEPT
I’m not good enough
Fear
RELEASE
HAVE FAITH
SURRENDER
release the fear
1. LOVE
*secure
86. OPEN UP
11. Remember
99. SAY GOODBYE
8. HOLD STILL
DAD
MOM
15. let it GO
36. DON’T BE scared of DEATH
LAUGH
18. Talk to someone
45. Touch
BREATHE
22. CRY
23. ACCEPT
I’m not good enough
Fear
RELEASE
HAVE FAITH
SURRENDER
release the fear
1. LOVE
*secure
86. OPEN UP
11. Remember
99. SAY GOODBYE
*'secure' was rather ambiguous, as it appeared on the screen and was not written but appeared as a label on a brand, (supposedly a brand of a musical instrument?)
I love this video, it encompasses the essence of struggles within humans and people with heart felt emotions (i.e. a sense of realism in people). Having emotions that make you feel down should not be something that we should be ashamed of, as it naturally manifests each of us from time to time.
It's okay to be not okay =)
Tuesday 7 September 2010
Fallin' In and Out
It's been almost a month since the last post, some updates:
I lost my laptop
Had crushes - only to realise they don't feel the same way =/
Just finished trials and most of ot was screwed up >.<
Life's a bitch ain't it?
Yesterday (6/9/2010) I fell for someone for who had a boyfriend. I know my brain says I shouldn't, but heart says otherwise, this is bad, and goes wayyyyyyy outta line. Today (7/9/2010), I sort of dated someone and in the cinema, we sorta held hands, and I felt a head leaning on my shoulder. But, after the show, it seemed as though as that felt nothing to the said individual. I asked of prospects of us in the future, but seemed like a negative feedback to me. I flirted and hinted that I wouldn't mind being a boyfriend to the said individual, and hinted that i had some feelings. SOME. A lil.
But, from this individual side, who claims not event a hint of attraction sort of brought me down a bit. Maybe it will take time to develop. Just maybe? Or, maybe this person just ain't interested at all.
UGH I GIVE UP
Then, things like these fill yourself with plenty of self doubt; am I not good-looking enough? Or perhaps, I do not fulfill the 'measures of a man', I don't know, I'm pretty confused.
Or maybe it's not time yet? A tarot card reaader once predicted I shall find my soulmate at the age of 23 and get married at the age of 27. I will never know if it's true, I'd be a monkey's uncle if it does come true though.
I guess maybe, sometimes i yearn for companionship, waking up with a lover in my arms, etc. and jazz like that. To an extent, I could even be labelled as desperate.
Oh, and I learned a quote from a songin Step Up 3D today: It's okay to not be okay
I lost my laptop
Had crushes - only to realise they don't feel the same way =/
Just finished trials and most of ot was screwed up >.<
Life's a bitch ain't it?
Yesterday (6/9/2010) I fell for someone for who had a boyfriend. I know my brain says I shouldn't, but heart says otherwise, this is bad, and goes wayyyyyyy outta line. Today (7/9/2010), I sort of dated someone and in the cinema, we sorta held hands, and I felt a head leaning on my shoulder. But, after the show, it seemed as though as that felt nothing to the said individual. I asked of prospects of us in the future, but seemed like a negative feedback to me. I flirted and hinted that I wouldn't mind being a boyfriend to the said individual, and hinted that i had some feelings. SOME. A lil.
But, from this individual side, who claims not event a hint of attraction sort of brought me down a bit. Maybe it will take time to develop. Just maybe? Or, maybe this person just ain't interested at all.
UGH I GIVE UP
Then, things like these fill yourself with plenty of self doubt; am I not good-looking enough? Or perhaps, I do not fulfill the 'measures of a man', I don't know, I'm pretty confused.
Or maybe it's not time yet? A tarot card reaader once predicted I shall find my soulmate at the age of 23 and get married at the age of 27. I will never know if it's true, I'd be a monkey's uncle if it does come true though.
I guess maybe, sometimes i yearn for companionship, waking up with a lover in my arms, etc. and jazz like that. To an extent, I could even be labelled as desperate.
Oh, and I learned a quote from a songin Step Up 3D today: It's okay to not be okay
Friday 13 August 2010
Her
I know its like its your birthday tomorrow, and for some reason I just stumbled upon your blog, and read the earliest post, which was like... a few months after we broke up? Due to certain circumstances, I could not access your blog at that time, and there was no internet connection at my home. It's almost 3 years now, and when I look back at that, I really feel stupid. I feel like a jackass 'cause I hurt you THAT much, if let's say I changed my mind, and took back all those words, would things be different now? Perhaps... and perhaps not.
For one, you're a lil high maintenance girl, and no way in Hell could I have given you luxury even if we we're still together. You would be deprived of a rather posh lifestyle, while (at that time) I could only materialistically give you so little. IF we were still together, I would feel bad that I can't fulfill that part of your needs, in addition to giving you the emotional part of me (i.e. love).
Least now, you've found someone who could somewhat fill in that aspect which I couldn't. But if in any case he breaks your heart, I'll punch 'em.
I wish you well, my 'baby', my first high-school love.
(Damn, I really need to move on. )
Maybe, I myself am not ready to immerse myself into a relationship, at that time at least, I guess.
For one, you're a lil high maintenance girl, and no way in Hell could I have given you luxury even if we we're still together. You would be deprived of a rather posh lifestyle, while (at that time) I could only materialistically give you so little. IF we were still together, I would feel bad that I can't fulfill that part of your needs, in addition to giving you the emotional part of me (i.e. love).
Least now, you've found someone who could somewhat fill in that aspect which I couldn't. But if in any case he breaks your heart, I'll punch 'em.
I wish you well, my 'baby', my first high-school love.
(Damn, I really need to move on. )
Maybe, I myself am not ready to immerse myself into a relationship, at that time at least, I guess.
Tuesday 3 August 2010
The Back // The Face
The Back
=======
I look at her back, a strong woman going forward. I always listen to her, for her words are pure and convincing as though as its absolute. She leads the way and I'm to follow her. Admire her I do, love her maybe. For I know, love shall be unrequited, but I still need her guidance. Her heart is with another. For far to long, I look at her back.
(This is an excerpt written in the shoes of another man)
The Face
======
Elaborating further on prima facie, which is in my opinion would be the physical face-to-face first impression one might give you. Another form of first impression would be by 'hear-say', i.e. I know this guy from debating, or I know this girl from the Cheerleadersor even a rather public figure for that matter. Other first impressions include by 'pictures', 'telephone voice', 'texting', etc.
To futher classify, would be by stimulus:
Sight - physically face-to-face, pictures
Hearing - telephone voice
Touch - accidental/intentional bumping
Post first impression:
Personality - Texting, etc
Under personality, loads of things can happen, and this is the one that normally ensues after first impression which gives us more insight on what the person is like.
Note that texting style is not the ultimate way to gauge a person (heck, sometimes, this is insignificant to the bones)
=======
I look at her back, a strong woman going forward. I always listen to her, for her words are pure and convincing as though as its absolute. She leads the way and I'm to follow her. Admire her I do, love her maybe. For I know, love shall be unrequited, but I still need her guidance. Her heart is with another. For far to long, I look at her back.
(This is an excerpt written in the shoes of another man)
The Face
======
Elaborating further on prima facie, which is in my opinion would be the physical face-to-face first impression one might give you. Another form of first impression would be by 'hear-say', i.e. I know this guy from debating, or I know this girl from the Cheerleadersor even a rather public figure for that matter. Other first impressions include by 'pictures', 'telephone voice', 'texting', etc.
To futher classify, would be by stimulus:
Sight - physically face-to-face, pictures
Hearing - telephone voice
Touch - accidental/intentional bumping
Post first impression:
Personality - Texting, etc
Under personality, loads of things can happen, and this is the one that normally ensues after first impression which gives us more insight on what the person is like.
Note that texting style is not the ultimate way to gauge a person (heck, sometimes, this is insignificant to the bones)
Saturday 24 July 2010
Inception - An Idea
Inception - The Movie
===============
Inception was such an effing awesome movie that I would feel low for not writing about it at least. About the movie:
- to an extent packed with philosophy and requires some thinking to fully get the movie
- relates to what I do when I have a dream, and I write a Dream Journal.
- plot-juicy
- A team made of a leader, a chemist, a tactician, a shapeshifter (somewhat), a dream architect, and a Japanese man LOL
Terms that I may add to my daily vocabulary *wink* 9from my view point/understanding):
Stimulus - The stimulating item to initiate a kick
Kick - sensation of falling or a sharp jolt that will make you awake
Projection - Units of one's subconsciousness which behave like a white blood cell when dreamer is provoked (removes foreign objects i.e. dreamers from the system)
Limbo - place/state of oblivion
Mr. Charles - an operation to convince one who is in a dream to go one level lower into the dream state
Totem - a personal item (a top, dice, or chess piece) which supposedly is suppose to help one discern reality from a dream. (But that being said, whoever said that we are not living a dream?
===============
Inception was such an effing awesome movie that I would feel low for not writing about it at least. About the movie:
- to an extent packed with philosophy and requires some thinking to fully get the movie
- relates to what I do when I have a dream, and I write a Dream Journal.
- plot-juicy
- A team made of a leader, a chemist, a tactician, a shapeshifter (somewhat), a dream architect, and a Japanese man LOL
Terms that I may add to my daily vocabulary *wink* 9from my view point/understanding):
Stimulus - The stimulating item to initiate a kick
Kick - sensation of falling or a sharp jolt that will make you awake
Projection - Units of one's subconsciousness which behave like a white blood cell when dreamer is provoked (removes foreign objects i.e. dreamers from the system)
Limbo - place/state of oblivion
Mr. Charles - an operation to convince one who is in a dream to go one level lower into the dream state
Totem - a personal item (a top, dice, or chess piece) which supposedly is suppose to help one discern reality from a dream. (But that being said, whoever said that we are not living a dream?
Inception - An Idea
==============
Perhaps I'll try reading this elsewhere, but for now, I'll just refer to it as "Wilson's Theory" =P
Theory of Fatal Attraction - This form of attraction is infatuation, a sensation of emotionally falling for somebody (and interestingly) while barely knowing the target you are attracted by.
Seemingly by prima facie (face value or appearance at first sight), one can fall deeply attracted to the said target. And this is considered 'fatal' as you only know so little and see this person at first glance.
After the prima facie stage, a person can move to further feel more attracted to the person by getting to know him/her more, feel rather neutral about the person (i.e. she/he is not so hot as I initially thought) or even upon close inspection (physical and attitude-wise), is not your cup of tea. At all.
Wednesday 21 July 2010
Attraction
Haven't posted in a while. The inspiration for this post was from the XxX article in the local Star Newspaper, and really got me thinking.
Attraction - E.M.O.T.I.O.N. (Part I)
==========================
Attraction is funny in a way that it can cause us to like someone a LOT without even without knowing anything about the person at all. And this is what I think is a kin to if not synonymous to infatuation. Mutual infatuation would be the basis of a stable/proper relationship between two people. And as easily one can fall for a person, and sometimes it is just as easy to forget them.
Perhaps all this while I've always been infatuated by another person, who may not feel the same. Hence maybe I should take the advice of simply forgetting this person, if signs of evasion/avoidance/disinterest start to arise. Heck, shall I not love again?
"Infatuation" - Infatuation by Maroon 5
The critically acclaimed book by Rhonda Byrne, The Secret drew many forms of criticism, good and bad.
I'm sorry, to people whom I lied to, and claimed that I have read The Secret, where I haven't, only because I wanted to "fit in" and have a common topic to talk about. I do know the summary, regarding the Law of Attraction.
To me, the idea of sunshine 24/7 is rather idealistic. You can pray all you want, hope all you want, and work your ass of so much, yet, sometimes you do not achieve what you aimed for. Though persistence is the key to success, one thing that has GOT to go hand-in-hand, which is TALENT is guess.
Perseverance without talent, is like knocking your head against the wall in hopes of producing a hole in the wall, but instead, you end up with a whiplash injury without even reducing the mass of the wall by barely 0.1% yet. A silly example used by Fly.fm was also ridiculous, "chase your dreams, i.e. singing, even if you sing like a frog". This would refer to my head banging example. Therefore, please for the sake of good grace of God, persevere in something you have TALENT in.
Attraction - E.M.O.T.I.O.N. (Part I)
==========================
Attraction is funny in a way that it can cause us to like someone a LOT without even without knowing anything about the person at all. And this is what I think is a kin to if not synonymous to infatuation. Mutual infatuation would be the basis of a stable/proper relationship between two people. And as easily one can fall for a person, and sometimes it is just as easy to forget them.
Perhaps all this while I've always been infatuated by another person, who may not feel the same. Hence maybe I should take the advice of simply forgetting this person, if signs of evasion/avoidance/disinterest start to arise. Heck, shall I not love again?
"Infatuation" - Infatuation by Maroon 5
Attraction - Laws of Attraction (Part II)
==========================
The critically acclaimed book by Rhonda Byrne, The Secret drew many forms of criticism, good and bad.
I'm sorry, to people whom I lied to, and claimed that I have read The Secret, where I haven't, only because I wanted to "fit in" and have a common topic to talk about. I do know the summary, regarding the Law of Attraction.
To me, the idea of sunshine 24/7 is rather idealistic. You can pray all you want, hope all you want, and work your ass of so much, yet, sometimes you do not achieve what you aimed for. Though persistence is the key to success, one thing that has GOT to go hand-in-hand, which is TALENT is guess.
Perseverance without talent, is like knocking your head against the wall in hopes of producing a hole in the wall, but instead, you end up with a whiplash injury without even reducing the mass of the wall by barely 0.1% yet. A silly example used by Fly.fm was also ridiculous, "chase your dreams, i.e. singing, even if you sing like a frog". This would refer to my head banging example. Therefore, please for the sake of good grace of God, persevere in something you have TALENT in.
Tuesday 15 June 2010
Godhand // Out Of Passion // Obsession
Godhand
Think of Chen's ultimate in DotA, think of Rikku's final weapon in Final Fantasy X or think of craftiness of His Holiness
God does miracles, I'll give you that, with His hands, things; awesome and not-so-awesome events happen.
Really, yesterday, a chain of events made me so pissed and everything, and then Destiny's Play decided to lead me to strike up a conversation with someone interesting on MSN messenger, and at the same time, I got to clear the air between myself and another guy whom I initially thought had something against me.
Out Of Passion, Heartbeat, Heartbreak
Whether one regards the above statement as "due to"/" because of" passion or exhausting it is totally up to one's view. You said so yourself. So I guess I have to be more careful next time, and not to fall for someone who does things because one is "in the spur of the moment".
My heart beats, and my heart breaks. Guess that's ordeals I gotta face, or maybe shut people out, till I can really love again.
"I'll never love again" - Lady Gaga in Speechless.
Appetite//Obsession
Well, it's not a secret that I love eating, and I can eat A LOT, as much as my younger brother, who is thinner than I am anyways. Let's just say both of us can derive the most utility from a round of buffet ;D
But, is there really such thing as eating too much good food? What I like to do during dinner when I'm out, is have at least a plate of plain stir-fried vegetables as an 'add-on'. Can't seem to understand why some people can eat so little, or maybe 'cause I'm still maturing and growing LOL
Think of Chen's ultimate in DotA, think of Rikku's final weapon in Final Fantasy X or think of craftiness of His Holiness
God does miracles, I'll give you that, with His hands, things; awesome and not-so-awesome events happen.
Really, yesterday, a chain of events made me so pissed and everything, and then Destiny's Play decided to lead me to strike up a conversation with someone interesting on MSN messenger, and at the same time, I got to clear the air between myself and another guy whom I initially thought had something against me.
Out Of Passion, Heartbeat, Heartbreak
Whether one regards the above statement as "due to"/" because of" passion or exhausting it is totally up to one's view. You said so yourself. So I guess I have to be more careful next time, and not to fall for someone who does things because one is "in the spur of the moment".
My heart beats, and my heart breaks. Guess that's ordeals I gotta face, or maybe shut people out, till I can really love again.
"I'll never love again" - Lady Gaga in Speechless.
Appetite//Obsession
Well, it's not a secret that I love eating, and I can eat A LOT, as much as my younger brother, who is thinner than I am anyways. Let's just say both of us can derive the most utility from a round of buffet ;D
But, is there really such thing as eating too much good food? What I like to do during dinner when I'm out, is have at least a plate of plain stir-fried vegetables as an 'add-on'. Can't seem to understand why some people can eat so little, or maybe 'cause I'm still maturing and growing LOL
Monday 14 June 2010
Hypocrites.
Had a so-called holiday for 4-and-a-half days owing the fact that AS exams finished on Wednesday, 2pm (9th june 2010 - 13th june 2010), this aint enough!!
Time table
=======
The new time table was shocking really. For me, it's so freaking packed!!! Due to the subject combination I'm taking (Math, Physics, Bio, Econs), I have little to no break time for me to even have lunch.
Choices
=====
Now, the pressure and stress is really getting into my head. I'm seriously thinking of dropping a subject, from 4 subjects to 3 subjects. Any advice?
Hypocrites & the like
===============
Beginning to realise, more and more people around us are plastic and fake.
This particular example, is of this person I know, let's call him Q. His principles include friends over dates. Or so he claims. But he himself recently breaks it and gloats about it how the date (let's call the date R) was fantastic, when he knows his close friend, S likes the R. And Q did the date quietly behind S's back, and begins to boast and gloat about it, even to the extent of showing off the texts between Q and R to S.
An ass ain't he? And the *best* part is he doesn't feel any remorse whatsoever, and seems glad to be sleeping around with another person's interest.
Q doesn't take 100% of the blame though, IMO. R also shares the the blame for just letting it happen, and S too, for not taking any initiatives to make the first move.
So who is to blame? I'm probably sound biased and say Q, but I have reasons to justify. What say you?
Time table
=======
The new time table was shocking really. For me, it's so freaking packed!!! Due to the subject combination I'm taking (Math, Physics, Bio, Econs), I have little to no break time for me to even have lunch.
Choices
=====
Now, the pressure and stress is really getting into my head. I'm seriously thinking of dropping a subject, from 4 subjects to 3 subjects. Any advice?
Hypocrites & the like
===============
Beginning to realise, more and more people around us are plastic and fake.
This particular example, is of this person I know, let's call him Q. His principles include friends over dates. Or so he claims. But he himself recently breaks it and gloats about it how the date (let's call the date R) was fantastic, when he knows his close friend, S likes the R. And Q did the date quietly behind S's back, and begins to boast and gloat about it, even to the extent of showing off the texts between Q and R to S.
An ass ain't he? And the *best* part is he doesn't feel any remorse whatsoever, and seems glad to be sleeping around with another person's interest.
Q doesn't take 100% of the blame though, IMO. R also shares the the blame for just letting it happen, and S too, for not taking any initiatives to make the first move.
So who is to blame? I'm probably sound biased and say Q, but I have reasons to justify. What say you?
Monday 7 June 2010
Always Be My Baby
Always Be My Baby - made famous by Mariah Carey, also sung by David Cook
It ends.
But you'll always be a part of me, though it was somewhat a form of unrequited love. Time can't erase this feeling I have. Time may cause it to slowly diminish, but it will not be erased, nor will it die.
Comes a time when I need to stop pining for something I will never attain. But if I tried harder, then perhaps love will come with a reply one day.
Once again, the over-friendly gestures from you, I perceived it as gestures of affection. This has to stop.
As much as you'll always be my baby, I will never hear your heart play this song. =/
I just haven't met you yet =)
It ends.
But you'll always be a part of me, though it was somewhat a form of unrequited love. Time can't erase this feeling I have. Time may cause it to slowly diminish, but it will not be erased, nor will it die.
Comes a time when I need to stop pining for something I will never attain. But if I tried harder, then perhaps love will come with a reply one day.
Once again, the over-friendly gestures from you, I perceived it as gestures of affection. This has to stop.
As much as you'll always be my baby, I will never hear your heart play this song. =/
I just haven't met you yet =)
The Final and Last Straw//Dream
Yes, I do indeed realise it's less than 24-hours since my last post, but, what the heck =P
Last Straw
I've had it up to my neck, and had the last straw for many things, including my housemate (who shares the same bathroom) who
i) Doesn't give a flying fuck regarding the condition of the bathroom (he can still bathe with all that grime and filth, leaving me in charge to clean it, seeing whe doesn't give two sh*ts about cleanliness)
ii) More often than not, he forgets to unlock the door for my side, causing a LOT of trouble for me, by either asking him open the door or forced to use the bathroom downstairs because he is not around.
iii) This motherf*cker takes no liberty whatsoever to do whatever he has to do in the morning quietly, EVERY GOD DAMN F*CKING MORNING, he'll gargle and spit out sputum in the most grotesque way that I can't remain asleep after hearing it.
WHERE ARE YOUR GOD DAMN MANNERS!? I'm so eager to wait for him to leave or I end my studies here in PJ, (considering this room I got, is for a rather decent rate. I have address matter num. ii) to him, and lately the number of times i have to swear for having the door unexpectedly locked has reduced significantly (but still happens nonetheless)
This MOFO doesn't have my personal contacts of any form, so I can be quite assured he wo'nt read this rantings. It's rather amazing how some people can live with filth their whole life.
Last Item
Yesterday, I purchased the Final Fantasy Monster Vol.1 series in Mid Valley, and purchasing the display one, because they were out of stock. And for the price I'm paying, they had better have all the parts intact, or I'd be charged for sodomizing them.
And earlier in the morning I ran out of all-ever-so-handy CIF(JIF), a brand of toilet cleaner, and the sundry shop had one last one on display, and I was forced to take that or the over-priced one in 7- ll. Then, I used it to clean the grime that the MOFO refuses to clean.
Short End of the Stick
Waking up this morning was rather different.
It's as though as I'm beginning to understand more and more that the relationship I crave for ain't gonna happen, at least not with this person. And hence that also inevitably led me to feel less desperate, and perhaps now, I'll wait for a text this time instead, just to see if I'm more than just a friend/fling. Simply enough, if you think of me, you'll text, if you don't, then I don't receive your text.
Sounds like I',m getting the short end of the stick, when it comes to being delegated with someone who Cupid arranges. Once again, maybe Destiny's Play wants me to walk alone a little longer, not that it's sad being single and all, but at least, I get my much valued private time to myself without compromising for the time spent with another.
The Final - A Lucid Dream
It was very weird, the dream last night. Basically it was about myself touching the heart of a mother, because I dated her child, which supposedly no one else wants to date. The child was fine appearance wise, but seems there is a catch to it, for example, a spoiled attitude and whatnot. So I was chatting with the mother who was a very bubbly woman, stocky but seemed to be walking on sunshine for as long as she lived. We came about to talk about politics, strangely. But at the same time, when talking with her, for reasons unknown I felt malice growing in her heart, from her body language, they way she looked at me. Also, and the moment I felt malicious intent, I grinded my teeth, and like many of the dreams I had, the grinding of my teeth were so real, that I could feel my teeth falling off due to excessive grinding. And the dream ends.
What I could analyze from the dream, was the discussion of politics, similar to the one I had with you the other night. At the same time, I tend to have mild lucid dreaming capabilities which I keep in memory, in addition to recurring dreams and dreams which feel so real..
Hmmm, perhaps, I could submit a dream journal as part of my future blog posts? =P
Last Straw
I've had it up to my neck, and had the last straw for many things, including my housemate (who shares the same bathroom) who
i) Doesn't give a flying fuck regarding the condition of the bathroom (he can still bathe with all that grime and filth, leaving me in charge to clean it, seeing whe doesn't give two sh*ts about cleanliness)
ii) More often than not, he forgets to unlock the door for my side, causing a LOT of trouble for me, by either asking him open the door or forced to use the bathroom downstairs because he is not around.
iii) This motherf*cker takes no liberty whatsoever to do whatever he has to do in the morning quietly, EVERY GOD DAMN F*CKING MORNING, he'll gargle and spit out sputum in the most grotesque way that I can't remain asleep after hearing it.
WHERE ARE YOUR GOD DAMN MANNERS!? I'm so eager to wait for him to leave or I end my studies here in PJ, (considering this room I got, is for a rather decent rate. I have address matter num. ii) to him, and lately the number of times i have to swear for having the door unexpectedly locked has reduced significantly (but still happens nonetheless)
This MOFO doesn't have my personal contacts of any form, so I can be quite assured he wo'nt read this rantings. It's rather amazing how some people can live with filth their whole life.
Last Item
Yesterday, I purchased the Final Fantasy Monster Vol.1 series in Mid Valley, and purchasing the display one, because they were out of stock. And for the price I'm paying, they had better have all the parts intact, or I'd be charged for sodomizing them.
And earlier in the morning I ran out of all-ever-so-handy CIF(JIF), a brand of toilet cleaner, and the sundry shop had one last one on display, and I was forced to take that or the over-priced one in 7- ll. Then, I used it to clean the grime that the MOFO refuses to clean.
Short End of the Stick
Waking up this morning was rather different.
It's as though as I'm beginning to understand more and more that the relationship I crave for ain't gonna happen, at least not with this person. And hence that also inevitably led me to feel less desperate, and perhaps now, I'll wait for a text this time instead, just to see if I'm more than just a friend/fling. Simply enough, if you think of me, you'll text, if you don't, then I don't receive your text.
Sounds like I',m getting the short end of the stick, when it comes to being delegated with someone who Cupid arranges. Once again, maybe Destiny's Play wants me to walk alone a little longer, not that it's sad being single and all, but at least, I get my much valued private time to myself without compromising for the time spent with another.
The Final - A Lucid Dream
It was very weird, the dream last night. Basically it was about myself touching the heart of a mother, because I dated her child, which supposedly no one else wants to date. The child was fine appearance wise, but seems there is a catch to it, for example, a spoiled attitude and whatnot. So I was chatting with the mother who was a very bubbly woman, stocky but seemed to be walking on sunshine for as long as she lived. We came about to talk about politics, strangely. But at the same time, when talking with her, for reasons unknown I felt malice growing in her heart, from her body language, they way she looked at me. Also, and the moment I felt malicious intent, I grinded my teeth, and like many of the dreams I had, the grinding of my teeth were so real, that I could feel my teeth falling off due to excessive grinding. And the dream ends.
What I could analyze from the dream, was the discussion of politics, similar to the one I had with you the other night. At the same time, I tend to have mild lucid dreaming capabilities which I keep in memory, in addition to recurring dreams and dreams which feel so real..
Hmmm, perhaps, I could submit a dream journal as part of my future blog posts? =P
Sunday 6 June 2010
Promise I'll be Kind
And yes, I have returned from my "hiatus", if you may call it, not that I was dry of inspiration to write or anything, it's just that I felt more personal stuff should be kept to my self, and my alternate psyche, my diary, which may be known as The Diary.
On to the post,
"Promise I'll be kind" - Paparazzi by Lady Gaga
I've been a pretty nice guy (if I must say), but now after giving deep thought about it, is it worth being nice to EVERYONE? To an extent, even, to be perceived as soft and/or soft-spoken, just because, I feel that I'm polite, especially to people whom I've just only met.
Kindness is the basis of Buddhism, or so they say. Can there be too much kindness and compassion spreading and reaching out to people you may know, or not know?
Do you deserve the kindness which I treat you with? Or somehow rather, you prefer rough guys with the bad boy image who act no less of the image as well? I cannot be what I'm not, and 'role-playing' an evil character just to nail a date I want would be akin to lying because that's not the real me. Then I would have to come to another consensus with myself that perhaps by being the nice guy, and treating people well ain't gonna get you a date/laid. It's always been the case around us, hasn't it? Or perhaps the people I've met want a macho guy with muscular pecs, a bad-ass scar tattoo who'd treat them like their bitch in bed? I don't know. You tell me.
You say you do not want to be alone anymore, telling me things like you don't want to die a lonely death, and emo-ing about how you may die alone.
That doesn't have to happen. We may have only just met, but if you allow, I can be the one who walks by your side as you stride in the 'journey' we call 'life'. To an extent, I don't hold a degree in psychology, but I can tell how uncomfortable you may feel when I express my feelings in public especially as well as feeling uneasy about the certain interests I take.
It's fine, we've only just met. Perhaps I'm really rushing it. Or perhaps, like how a reaction of vinegar and baking soda bubbles before it subsides and dies - the chemistry we had was short lived. Or perhaps, you need someone kinder, or even, someone less kind.
Maybe, like Rihanna you want a rude boy or a Chris Brown in your life.
Yours truly,
Heartwrecked Wilson
On to the post,
"Promise I'll be kind" - Paparazzi by Lady Gaga
I've been a pretty nice guy (if I must say), but now after giving deep thought about it, is it worth being nice to EVERYONE? To an extent, even, to be perceived as soft and/or soft-spoken, just because, I feel that I'm polite, especially to people whom I've just only met.
Kindness is the basis of Buddhism, or so they say. Can there be too much kindness and compassion spreading and reaching out to people you may know, or not know?
Do you deserve the kindness which I treat you with? Or somehow rather, you prefer rough guys with the bad boy image who act no less of the image as well? I cannot be what I'm not, and 'role-playing' an evil character just to nail a date I want would be akin to lying because that's not the real me. Then I would have to come to another consensus with myself that perhaps by being the nice guy, and treating people well ain't gonna get you a date/laid. It's always been the case around us, hasn't it? Or perhaps the people I've met want a macho guy with muscular pecs, a bad-ass scar tattoo who'd treat them like their bitch in bed? I don't know. You tell me.
You say you do not want to be alone anymore, telling me things like you don't want to die a lonely death, and emo-ing about how you may die alone.
That doesn't have to happen. We may have only just met, but if you allow, I can be the one who walks by your side as you stride in the 'journey' we call 'life'. To an extent, I don't hold a degree in psychology, but I can tell how uncomfortable you may feel when I express my feelings in public especially as well as feeling uneasy about the certain interests I take.
It's fine, we've only just met. Perhaps I'm really rushing it. Or perhaps, like how a reaction of vinegar and baking soda bubbles before it subsides and dies - the chemistry we had was short lived. Or perhaps, you need someone kinder, or even, someone less kind.
Maybe, like Rihanna you want a rude boy or a Chris Brown in your life.
Yours truly,
Heartwrecked Wilson
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